WOMANHOOD by Adebisi Mercy Ayomide

FINAL LETTER TO WOMAN Wow! Glory be to the God of our salvation, and the giver of all wisdom. By God's grace this will be the last episode of womanhood series. Glory to God! Above all things and in all of the write up, if you have not gained anything, I want to leave you with this: we are women created by God for a purpose. We are not created for fun. God created a woman because he saw that she needs to be a helper. I want to continually remind you that we are to be with God always, and that we are to keep partnering with the Holy Spirit who is the great helper. And also, we are to love the Lord our God more than anyone. We are to walk with God with patience and Faith. We are to pay attention to our health and not our face only. Just as the scripture says, KJV: Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. 3 John 1 vs 2 And also we should always have it in mind that God loves us, no matter the situation or circumstances, we should not be under pressure but we should allow God to lead us. We are a proverb 31 WOMAN. KJV: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. KJV: Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. Philippians 4 vs 8&9. Thanks so much for following this series from the beginning even till the end. 2022 is a great year. I hope you are blessed with the series. If you have a testimony or more that you want to share or a question bordering your mind you can always reach out via: Mail: ayomide0209@gmail.com WhatsApp: 08140411201 Anticipate the release of the ebook WOMANHOOD PROVERB 31 WOMAN

AYOMIDE IS PROUD TO BE A WOMAN. I LOVE U ALL

The Rule in Christian Relationship

The first rule in relationship is the first rule in all of life: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30). You will not truly love anyone else if you do not love God first and most. And no one will truly love you if they do not love God more than they love you. The first step in dating should always be the step of faith we take toward our Lord, Savior, and greatest Treasure, King Jesus. He captures our heart; we find our deepest joy in him. We hide our soul in him, and stop trying to save or prove ourselves. We devote our minds to knowing him more and more, and plead with him to conform our mind and will to his. We put all our strength into his goal and plan for our life: to make disciples who love him with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. If our heart is not there — if our soul is not already safe through faith, if our mind is distracted and focused on other, lesser things, if our best strength is being spent on the things of this world — jobs, sports, shopping, entertainment, relationships, and not on God — we simply will not date well. Do you want to date and marry well? Listen to Jesus, and “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Seek him first (Matthew 6:33), and dating will be added according to his perfect plan and timing. The Golden Rule in Dating But after embracing and applying the first and greatest commandment, I have found that the golden rule in dating is this: Lean hard on the people who know you best, love you most, and will tell you when you’re wrong. It’s not the first rule, because in absolutely every area of life — every decision, every calling, every relationship, every dream — we must start with what we think and feel about God. Do we love him more than anything? Will we obey him, even when it will cost us? Are we willing to set anything aside for his sake? Will we trust him, even when we want something else for ourselves? It’s not the first rule, but I have found that it is a “golden rule” that most often makes the difference between healthy and unhealthy Christian dating relationships. If you’re not a Christian — if you haven’t dealt with God before trying to date — you don’t have a chance of having a truly healthy Christian relationship with someone else. But even if you are a Christian, there are still a thousand more ways to subtly or blatantly reject God’s wisdom and fall into sin. The key will be to lean on other Christians who know you best, love you most, and have a proven record of telling you when you are making a mistake or wandering away from God’s will for you. The Third Wheel We All Need Today more than ever before, we’re faced with a never-ending buffet of opinions and advice that has something to say about everything and yet lets us choose the answer we want. How far should we go physically before marriage? How soon should I start dating after a breakup? What things should I be looking for in a guy? What are girls looking for in a guy? Should couples live together before getting married? We won’t have trouble finding an answer (or a dozen answers) to any of our questions in relationships. The scary reality is that we can find an answer somewhere to justify what we want to do — right or wrong, safe or unsafe, wise or unwise. The advice we choose might be from a book by a doctor, or a random conversation with someone at church, or a blog post by a teenager, or just something we found on Pinterest. For many of us, if we’re honest, it really doesn’t matter who’s offering the advice as long as it confirms what we thought or wanted in the first place. We think we’re leaning on others as we wade into all the material online, but we’re often just surrendering to our own cravings and ignorance. We leave the safety of the doctor’s office and choose the freedom and ease of the gas station convenience store. Instead of getting the qualified perspective and direction we desperately need from people around us, we walk away eating a candy bar for dinner, again, and washing it down with Dr. Pepper. Real friendship, with real life-on-life accountability, may not offer the same amount of information or advice, and you will not always like what it has to say, but it will bring one new critical dimension to your dating relationships: it knows you — your strengths and weaknesses, your successes and failures, your unique needs. These people know you as a sinner, and sinners who are never being confronted or frustrated by inconvenient truths are sinners drifting further from God, not towards him. The truth is that we all need a third wheel — in life and in dating — people who truly know us and love us, and who want what’s best for us, even when it’s not what we want in the moment. The Voices We Need Most Dating often isolates us from other Christians in our lives. The closer we become with a boyfriend or girlfriend, the more removed we are from other important relationships. Satan loves this, and encourages it at every turn. One way to walk wisely in dating is to oppose absolutely everything Satan might want for you. Fight the impulse to date in a corner by yourselves, and instead draw one another into those important relationships. Double down on family and friends — with affection, intentionality, and communication — while you’re dating. The people willing to actually hold me accountable in dating have been my best friends. I’ve had lots of friends over the years, but the ones who have been willing to press in, ask harder questions, and offer unwanted (but wise) counsel are the friends I respect and prize the most. They stepped in when I was spending too much time with a girlfriend or started neglecting other important areas of my life. They raised a flag when a relationship seemed unhealthy. They knew where I had fallen before in sexual purity, and they weren’t afraid to ask questions to protect me. They have relentlessly pointed me to Jesus, even when they knew it might upset me — reminding me not to put my hope in any relationship, to pursue patience and purity, and to communicate and lead well. These guys didn’t guard me from every mistake or failure — no one can — but they played a massive role in helping me mature as a man, a boyfriend, and now as a husband. And I wish I would have listened to them more in dating. Joyful, Courageous Accountability My golden rule in dating is a warm, but unpopular invitation to accountability — to truly and consistently bear each other’s burdens in the pursuit of marriage (Galatians 6:2). Maybe that term — accountability — has dried out and gone stale in your life. But to be accountable is to be authentically, deeply, consistently known by someone who cares enough to keep us from making mistakes or indulging in sin. Only people who love Christ more than they love you will have the courage to tell you that you’re wrong in dating — wrong about a person, wrong about timing, wrong about whatever. Only they will be willing to say something hard, even when you’re so happily infatuated. Most people will float along with you because they’re excited for you, but you need a lot more than excitement right now — you have plenty of that yourself. You desperately need truth, wisdom, correction, and perspective. The Bible warns us to weave all our desires, needs, and decisions deep into a fabric of family who love us and will help us follow Jesus — a family God builds for each of us in a local church (Hebrews 10:24–25). God has sent you — your faith, your gifts, and your experience — into other believers’ lives for their good. To encourage them: “We urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all” (1 Thessalonians 5:14). To challenge and correct them: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom” (Colossians 3:16). And to build them up: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). And as inconvenient, unnecessary, unhelpful, and even unpleasant as it may feel at times, God has sent gifted, experienced, Christ-loving men and women into your life too, for your good — and for the good of your boyfriend or girlfriend (and God willing, your future spouse). The God who sends these kinds of friends and family into our lives knows what we need far better than we ever will. We all need courageous, persistent, and hopeful friends and counselors in the dangerous and murky waters of dating. Lean hard on the people who know you best, love you most, and will tell you when you’re wrong. WITH LOVE FROM AYOADE PETER OLAMIDE BRIGHTEST FUTURE INITIATIVE TEAM INTERNATION YOUR RELATIONSHIP DOCTOR 08108569422, 07088826508, 07065489028

Love and Intimacy

As we grow older, though, our tendency toward self-centeredness often seeps into our friendships. We make a friendship about ourselves and what the other person can do for us. We try to mold the other person into the person we want them to be. If they won’t cooperate, we find new friends. A simple friendship becomes complicated. It would be nice to get back to the simplicity of our childhood relationships, and that’s not as unrealistic or naïve as some people might think. Pursuing simplicity in our lives includes our relationships, and in his first letter to the Thessalonians, Paul gave us insights into what such an uncomplicated relationship looks like. It’s all driven by love — not a love for ourselves, but a love for God that carries over into how we love others. As we dig into this passage in 1 Thessalonians 4, we’ll see principles that apply to all types of relationships. But Paul began with a specific focus on relationships that might involve or lead to sexual immorality. The world today has attempted to redefine what constitutes sexual immorality; some people refuse to call immoral anything two consenting adults agree to do. God has a different standard. Sexual intimacy is to be experienced only between one man and one woman within a marriage relationship. Clearly then, anything outside or beyond that boundary constitutes sexual immorality. God’s will is also clear in this. We His people are to have nothing to do with sexual immorality. As Paul wrote, we are to “keep away from sexual immorality.” Following God’s will regarding sanctification and purity in relationships requires us to keep away from sexual immorality, and to know how to control our bodies. We must rid ourselves of all things that lead us to think or act inappropriately toward others. We won’t keep immoral or inappropriate thoughts and actions away simply by “hiding” them in the closet. We must remove them completely from our lives and in their place, we surround ourselves with relationships that encourage our purity and walk with Christ. We control our bodies even as we give our thoughts to Christ. The same principles of self-control and godliness are true in other areas of our relationships as well. Things may seem to have become more complicated in our relationships since we were kids. But if we will apply the principles of God’s love, we’ll see a simplicity in all things that flow through Him, including our relationships.

Intimacy and Love

Intimacy in a relationship is a feeling of being close, and emotionally connected and supported. It means being able to share a whole range of thoughts, feelings and experiences that we have as human beings. It involves being open and talking through your thoughts and emotions, letting your guard down (being vulnerable), and showing someone else how you feel and what your hopes and dreams are. Intimacy is built up over time, and it requires patience and effort from both partners to create and maintain. Discovering intimacy with someone you love can be one of the most rewarding aspects of a relationship. Apart from emotional and sexual intimacy, you can also be intimate intellectually, recreationally, financially, spiritually, creatively (for example, renovating your home) and at times of crisis (working as a team during tough times). Intimacy is achieved when we become close to someone else and are reassured that we are loved and accepted for who we are. Children usually develop intimacy with parents and peers. As adults, we seek intimacy in close relationships with other adults, friends, family and with a partner. Intimacy and sex It is important to share a whole range of emotions with a partner, otherwise some people begin to feel lonely and isolated regardless of how good their sexual experiences may be. For many couples, ‘making love’ involves a sense of intimacy and emotional closeness. An intimate sexual relationship involves trust and being vulnerable with each other. Closeness during sex is also linked to other forms of intimacy including emotional and spiritual intimacy. Intercourse is only part of sexual intimacy which involves foreplay and other forms of physical intimacy. Explore ways to share love and affection without sex and remember that sex includes many forms of physical contact. Often, the more a couple is intimate with each other in ways other than sex, the more fulfilling their sex life becomes. Difficulties in creating intimacy Some couples find it difficult to achieve intimacy in their relationship. Others can find that after achieving intimacy it seems to slip away. There are many reasons why some people find it difficult to achieve intimacy in their relationship. This is commonly the result of problems such as: • communication issues – if you and your partner are not communicating to each other what your feelings and needs are, then they are not likely to be met. If you do not feel understood by your partner then intimacy is hard to create or maintain. It’s important to talk to your partner about what you need and to check in with them about how they are feeling. This act alone can create a feeling of being connected and intimate • conflict– if there is ongoing conflict in your relationship, it can be difficult to develop intimacy. It is not easy to feel close to someone you are arguing with. Anger, hurt, resentment, lack of trust, or a sense of being unappreciated can all affect intimacy. If conflict is affecting your relationship, seek help: • negative childhood experiences • past and current traumas • financial pressure • health issues. We all have some barriers to intimacy. It is normal for couples to work together to overcome these barriers. Intimacy is built up over time Building and maintaining intimacy in a relationship takes time, and it takes some people longer than others. Often, the harder you work at developing intimacy in your relationship, the more rewarding it is. Some suggestions for developing intimacy in your relationship include the following. • Celebrate the good things in your relationship. Tell your partner, in words and actions, how much you love and appreciate them. Let your partner know what you value about them and about the relationship. Put it into words and don't assume they already know. Everybody likes to be told that they are appreciated and loved. • Talk openly about your feelings and what you need from the relationship. • Create opportunities for intimacy. Take time out to be together as a couple when you can focus on each other and on your relationship. The harder it is to do this because of children, work or other commitments, the more important it is that you do it. Try to plan a regular evening, day or weekend for the 2 of you to be alone. • Accept that your relationship will have highs and lows. Continue to explore new ways of finding a deeper level of intimacy. These moments don’t need to be grand gestures of love. Taking time, even small moments, together is just as important as going on a date together. • Be positive and grateful about what you have in your relationship. • Be aware that both parties in a relationship need to initiate opportunities for creating intimacy. Seeking help for relationship problems Sometimes you may need help or guidance to sort through some of the problems, feelings and thoughts you have about your relationship. You could talk to a relationship counsellor, or go to a course or workshop that will help you and your partner overcome some of your relationship problems. Remember, it is normal to have ups and downs in your relationship, and building and maintaining intimacy is part of having a fulfilling relationship.

Goal Setting

 

To set a goal, first you need to know yourself and what you want to achieve in life. Sit and write your goals on a piece of paper. Know your preferences and structure your goals accordingly. Check out these simple and effective goal setting tips. • Achievable Goals Make sure the goal you set for yourself is realistic and attainable. For example, if you aim to lose some weight, make it achievable. If you go for losing 5 pounds in a month, that sounds realistic. But if you say that you want to lose 30 pounds in fifteen days, you might be disappointed in case you are unable to achieve it. Keep your goals simple and realistic. • Set a Deadline Focus on when you want to achieve and set yourself a deadline. No matter if it takes days, weeks, months or even a year to achieve it, always set a date and deadline to achieve it. • Plan Out Decide on what you have to do to achieve your goal. List down what you have to do to achieve it. How to Achieve Your Goals
Setting up a goal might be an easy task for you, but reaching it is entirely a different story. After you have set your realistic goals, focus on how to achieve it. • Stay Committed Staying committed to your goal is the most important part to achieve it. Struggling for your goal without a commitment, devotion and ambition is a waste. • Be Positive Focus on what is working, be positive and continue doing what you have set your target for. Achieving goals will motivate you to make further goals. Benefits of Goal Setting Benefits of Goal Setting
Here are some benefits that setting a goal may bring to you and help improve the quality of your life.
It Gives You Clear Focus: Setting goals give you a vision and a clear focus. Clearly stated goals set your aim and firm intention to do things you actually want to achieve.
Helps Plan Your future: Setting a goal in life also helps you look ahead through years and plan your future while giving you a sense of purpose.
Motivation and Goal Setting: Goal setting increases passion and motivation. You get a sense of accomplishment when set a goal. It motivates you to look for ways to execute and make it happen.
It Stimulates a Sense of Accomplishment: With the release of your creative energies in setting and achieving goals, you go to bed with a feeling of satisfaction every night. This feeling of accomplishment motivates you to get through your next goal. Importance of Goal Setting

Have you ever thought why is goal setting important? Setting goals make you a creative, confident and a productive person. It helps you get the desired result and encourage you to move forward in life.
Achieving goals is never too easy. It takes some time, ambition, motivation and a confidence to attain what you desire. By setting goals and moving step by step in order to reach your goal, you will achieve more in your life. Whether you are a teen or an adult, goal setting will always help you accomplish faster

Daily Motivation

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